Pure love comes in various forms

Today December 16th, I am celebrating the four anniversary of my inner transformation. I am writing from the room I lived in four years ago, in a small and snowy town of South Dakota. Back then, the cold weather outside did not matter to me as much as the coldness I felt in my heart. After a recent divorce, I was alone in this country, in a deep depression, living in a women shelter, with no money at all, and homeless. I taught I was worthless. I could barely remember those shiny days in Mexico when I was a successful therapist and speaker. 

In the emotional condition I was, I was positive I could never be helpful to myself or anybody else. For several days, Virginia, a new friend, prepared me a bath with color, bubbles, and nice smells. She insisted that taking a bath is the best and fastest way to restore the soul. I was not in the position to to argue with her about soul restorations and humanistic theories. Virginia is not that much into theories anyway, she is always proud to say that her only school is life besides her middle school diploma. I did not explained to her either that water is scarce in the place I grew up and baths are a luxury. Deep inside I did not believe that my very damaged soul could restored by bubbles. Thus, the bathtub did not see my naked body or soul for several days.
On Dec 16th, 2006 I decided to accept the invitation to come and live in her home. I decided to take the risk of being pampered and loved. Virginia, her boyfriend Jay, her dog, and cats adopted me as a new family member. Of course, the dumb and bubbly bath was ready and I knew it was inevitable. I went into the bath for ten minutes and quickly got out of there. Virginia, my friend and angel smiled and said "one hour my dear, is the minimum you need". She is not a therapist, she is not a teacher and yet she knew about the magical "one hour". Why one hour? Is one hour a magic number for healing baths or therapeutic talks? What I knew those days was that one hour of love and care for myself was a very long time. 

Four years ago, Virginia designated a room in her home, prepared the bath every day for me, listened to me, and put a warm blanket every night. I could only smile, cry, and sleep twenty hours a day. Dog-dog, Virginia's dog, played with me in the snow and taught me how to ski. Marbles, Virginia's cat, spent with me all day and night providing love and company. And Jay, her boyfriend, guided me in my financial recovery plan. I used to lay down in the sofa among cats and dog, listening to Jay's readings and watching Virginia playing with her cats. I also received the love of the several people that visit this home. Nobody asked anything in return. They just loved me and nourish my soul unconditionally.  Every time I apologize to them for not being productive, Virginia smiled and affirmed that one day I would pay forward. She also assured me that I had a lot to give back. Besides my family and friends in Mexico, she believed in my dream of moving to California and became a PhD student and therapist in this country. It took me five months to recover and fly on my own. In 2007, I left Virginia's home with little money but a huge amount of love and dreams. I departed to California knowing nobody but myself. All I had were the blessings of my parents in Mexico and my new family in South Dakota.

After four years, I am here in this house again enjoying Marble's company. Jay is shaveling the snow outside and Virginia is still sleeping in her room. I am just enjoying my self in my new pajamas and the smell of the bubbly bath that, of course, Virginia prepared for me last night as a welcoming gesture. Now, my heart is content and my soul restored. I am a strong, independent, and a happy Californian woman, but I can still indulge myself and receive the love of my family in South Dakota knowing that I have been paying forward at any opportunity I had. For now, I just will huge Marbles and go back to sleep. 

I wish you a bubbly and loving December 16th!

Carmen